Something New - PT. 1

Currently at Marilyn’s, I found myself talking to my brother.

“You what?! I knew it!” he slammed his hands onto the table, shock smacked across his face “For real, for real? You invited her out?”

“Well, uh, yeah- In a friendly way, not a date way”

“I know that, but still!”

“I know, I know…”

I groaned, feeling painfully self-conscious.

This was why I had procrastinated telling Jeff about this.

He let out a very loud sigh of relief, though.

“Finally, something I can help you with!”

“You don’t have to help me with anything, Jeff”

“Have you actually set a day, yet?”

“No”

“Then, you need my help” he wiggled his brows “Lillian’s thing was, like, a week ago!”

I knew that as well, although I preferred not to think about it.

“I’m not getting into this now, I still have to work for today. Besides, the right opportunity to invite her will come up, if it must”

I turned the page in my notebook, only to realise it was the last - I should have seen this coming. Looked like I would be taking a break from work after all.

“Dude, that’s a sign! Ask her to go get a new thingy together”

“Jeff, that sounds more like I’d be trying to use her time to the convenience of mine”

“She did say that she wanted to know when was best for you”

“Yes, but-”

“Look, I’m just saying-”

He pulled out his shark tooth necklace and fiddled it between his fingers with an air of nonchalance. I tried not to focus on it.

“-I don’t see what you’re waiting for”

I didn’t know either. This was way out of my comfort zone. She hadn’t brought it up when she’d been on shift, so I had kind of left it.

“It’s not like I could ask her here and now, anyway” I deadpanned “She’s not in today”

I abruptly collected my things, hastily said goodbye to Cri and Kami, then stormed off to get a new notebook.

Jeff stayed put - he’d be remaining at Marilyn’s ’til closing, taking advantage of his day off from Bisio’s construction site. Lately, he’d been spending most of his spare time at the shop, wanting to keep an eye out until we were all certain the ‘Sara situation’ had blown over. He’d even gone with Lillian to The Rose the other evening, just to be of extra support.

And now, he was trying to help me with something, which had never been a scenario before.

This further confirmed, in my view, that supporting his decision to drop out, had been the best route.

But, I couldn’t believe he still wore that shark tooth necklace every day. I thought that he’d grow out of it eventually, yet he hadn’t.

Dad had bought him that necklace.

That one time our parents had managed to take us to the beach for a weekend, despite how poor we were back then…

El Matador State Beach - about an hour’s drive away from Los Angeles. We were meant to stay in a motel for the night, but something had gone wrong with the reservation, so we’d ended up sleeping in the car. Mom and Dad hadn’t had a weekend off together in ages - and, never with us before then.

For as long as I could remember, Jeff had always been rowdier than me. By the time he was three, he’d developed an inclination to climb up anything he could, including one of the bigger rocks on that beach. Not a very tall one really, but tall enough to scare him when he fell off. Fortunately, he hadn’t hurt himself, only gained a few scratches, but he wouldn’t stop wailing from the fright.

Dad had gone up to the town and bought him that necklace.

“You see this, Jeffrey? This is a shark tooth”

Dad had managed to catch my brother’s attention, while Mom was still cradling him and giving him kisses on his forehead.

“Sharks are some of the strongest fighter animals out there! So, if you have this around your neck, you’ll always find a way to fight through terrible things. Just like now - I know you can fight off this boo-boo. Isn’t that right, habibi?”

It really hurt to remember Dad’s voice. Low, husky and, above all, warm.

By then, Jeff had stopped crying. I didn’t know if he’d fully understood what Dad was getting at, or if he even remembered it now, but he’d grabbed the shark tooth, fascinated.

Mom then put him down and tied the necklace behind his neck, making sure it would be the right length for him. Meanwhile, Dad turned his attention to me, hands resting in his pockets.

“How about you, Michael? Do you need a shark tooth to be strong, too?”

I looked at Jeff playing with his new possession, observing how tiny he was - I felt so protective of him.

Gazing up at Dad, I shook my head.

“No, I have Jeff”

I tried to shake off the memories of Mom and Dad. I tried not to think about it. It hurt far too much.

Besides, nowadays, I was surrounded by my stability and never new town.

Walking from cartoleria to cartoleria, I quickly realised it was lunchtime, which meant that everyone had closed shop and none of them would open again until after 4pm. The new notebook would have to wait.

Annoyed, I strolled through the park to get home.

Tears were coming up, Mom and Dad not leaving my mind. My eyes stuck to the ground - I didn’t need to look around to know where the geese were, or to see that the white peacocks were under their favourite tree. Branches were rustling - squirrels most likely. The rooster made its call from the across the path. And, so on…

I couldn’t wait to get home to some peace and quiet, and stop thinking for a few hours.

Especially, about-

“Michael?”

I looked up.

Ìspirah was on the same bench as last time.

“-Are you ok?”

She got to her feet and trotted towards me. I quickly wiped my eyes.

“Oh, uhm, yeah” such terrible timing “I was just, uh, on my way home”

“You seem…” she chose the next word carefully “-pensive”

“I know, uh, just a lot on my mind, that’s all”

“Work related? Think I could help?”

“I mean, sort of - I finished the pages in my notebook, nothing major”

“Oh, I see” she pondered, unconvinced “Is that all? Really? Are you sure?”

She was being insistent. For as much as I wanted to spend more time with her, when she put her hand on my arm, I flinched away.

“I said I’m fine, Ìspirah” I took a step back in a mixture of fluster and defensiveness “I-, I appreciate the sentiment, but please, leave it”

Her eyes widened “I’m sorry, you just look really-” she glanced away “really upset”

Guilt slithered into my guts - my tone had been much meaner than necessary.

“No! Uhm, I-, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be harsh-”

Suddenly, I didn’t know where to put my arms. They felt out of place no matter where I put them.

“-Also, sorry for not getting back to you about meeting up this week”

“Michael, that’s the least of the issues” she reached out to touch my arm again, yet stopped herself “But, I, uh, want you to know that, if you need someone to talk to, you can count on me, ok?”

I softened, feeling my shoulders ease - I hadn’t even realised how tense they’d gotten.

“Thank you”

She smiled kindly and my mind went straight back to my brother’s comments.

I awkwardly shuffled on the spot.

“-Er, about the meeting up thing, though… I have to go shopping for a notebook later” now my arms felt as heavy as lead “If you have nothing better to do, you could come with me”

“I’d love that! It’s my day off today anyway, so-” she pulled out her cellphone and searched for her own number “Yeah, I don’t know it by heart yet, bear with me”

I pulled out my own.

“No worries, I’m the same way”